13 Juni 2010
I lost my grip.
Yet I still do not know where to look for.
For these past two weeks, i’ve been like a ghost. My body is there, sometimes my soul is there too, but never my soul.
I laugh, I hang out, i yelled, i act like dumb***, i act like a fool.
But in fact, i’m just empty.
I’m saying sweet things to anyone. I encourage people. I run in the afternoon. I accompany.
Yet I still don’t know what to achieve.
Because the only destination is not there anymore. The one i used to throw away my feelings is not there anymore. The one that already forgotten me.
So I come up to the conclusion that I have to stop bumping all things at him.
That sure is the cause I lost my mind these days.
So lost that I didn’t know what to pray to God.
....and this keep happening in the past two weeks.
I’ve been so lost that I even crave to God, “why do i always bump into him? Can’t i be open to someone else??”
....and that time I realized.
I know what to pray.
“God, please make me meet the one that make me able to tell things to.”
Amin.
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